Epik Win. <3

It doesn't feel like a new year.

Well, what's so great about a new year?

So we can start over new?

Can't we do that any day? 

My dad says "We're celebrating the Earth's birthday."

Haha, I guess that works.

Why the big fuss? 

Well, resolutions?

I already accomplished my first one. LOL.

I won't tell you what it is, or you'd all make fun of me. D:

But no one reads this anyway, so I guess it doesn't matter. (= 

1. Figure out what "gg" means w/o sounding like an idiot. [ACCOMPLISHED! =D]

2. Get at least a 2 on the English & History AP tests & at least a 4 on the Calculus BC AP test. 

3. Maintain my 4.0 for the rest of sophomore year; Maintain at least a 3.5 (unweighted) junior year.

4. Get into varsity tennis. [If we have sports next year. =/]

5. Get that IB slip signed.

I'll add on later, I guess. [x

OH OH OH &&

So I was telling Omar about how _____ hugged me goodbye, & this is what he said:

Omarsweird (11:34:28 PM): lol
Omarsweird (11:34:35 PM): well it means ya
Omarsweird (11:34:39 PM): he like u
Omarsweird (11:34:40 PM): xD
Omarsweird (11:34:48 PM): thats his way of showing it
Omarsweird (11:34:53 PM): i know
Omarsweird (11:34:55 PM): lol

Eeeek!

Maybe I do have a chance with him afterall!

This is so amazing.

I'm gonna tell him.

Well, Omar's gonna ask him first, to be sure.

And then, I'm gonna tell him.

Maaan, this is so awesome.

And for once, I can end this blog w/ a new closing line:

lol, Epik Win. 

Happy New Year's Eve!

Happy New Year's Eve! 

California Academy of Sciences is a freakin' awesome place. :D

I wish I could have gone to the planetarium though. =/

I kinda like going to museums more w/ science bowl kids, just 'cause they're more interested.

Hm, so we went to Grand Century afterwards to eat & we went to eat at Saigon Kitchen.

Holy crud, dude.

There was a fight in there & it was effing scary. o___o

From what I got out of it, this guy ordered wine, opened it, drank it, and said it tasted sour & wouldn't pay for it.

And then the manager was like; Dude, you opened it, you gotta pay.

And the guy was like; Dude, you gave me effing sour wine. I ain't effing gonna pay for that.

And the manager was like; YOU PICKED THE WINE! YOU OPENED IT! YOU GOTTA PAY!

And the guy was like; YOU EFFING GAVE ME BAD WINE! AND NOW YOU'RE EFFING EMBARRASSING ME IN FRONT OF EVERYONE IN YOUR EFFING STORE! WHAT KIND OF EFFING SERVICE IS THIS?!

And the manager was like; GET OUT OF MY EFFING STORE! AND DON'T COME BACK!

And this went on for a little while, w/ cuss words every sentence.

I was so scared that a fight was gonna break out.

I was so scared what my sisters' reactions would be.

There were little kids in the store, too, for crying out loud. 

That was so scary...

Dude, holy crud. 

I can't stop thinking about him.

Gaaaaaaaaaaah.

If only he'd go online.

I could really use a nice talk with him. 

I miss him & I keep looking for him everywhere I go.

LOL, okay, this sounds really obsessive. 

lol, Epik Phail.

To-Do + Confession Letter.

To-Do List:

1. WHAP Timeline/Terms/Questions Worksheets

2. 20 differentiation problems, 20 integration problems

3. Science review sheet

4. Study for science test

5. Finish reading Soldier's Heart

6. Come up w/ New Year's Resolutions

7. Sleep earlier

8. Wake up earlier

9. Finish his present

10. Confess to him 

lol, I think I can accomplish 1-6. 7-8 sound hard. 9, I can probably do it. 10, HAHA. Sounds practically impossible. lol.

Dear _____,

I really like you. You make me laugh all the time with your random comments that you whisper in my ear. I love when we can sit wherever we want in class, so I can sit next to you. I love how you always threaten to scream when my name comes in role call, and you never do. I love your hugs! They make me feel all warm and fuzzy. I love how you listen to me when I cry. I love how you tell me you miss me. I love how you walked all the way into English class before realizing you had to go to your own class. I love how you ran with me when I asked you to, and held my stuff when I needed the help. I love how I can come crying to you and end up feeling better afterwards. I love how, after a lot of begging, you told me your birthday.

I wish I could send you this letter, but you'd be able to tell who wrote it so quickly, and then my secret would be out. I wish I could confess to you, but I'm so scared of rejection. I wish I could give you a big hug and tell you how I feel about you. I wish I could hold your hand when I'm walking down the hall. I wish you'd give me hugs from behind or randomly reassure me that I'm a great person. I wish I could tell you, but you probably like someone else. You'd never fall for someone like me. Well, _____, I guess I'll have to live without you.

I really like you. You're a great person. Funny, smart, selfless, caring, sympathetic, and a great hug-giver. 

I wish ... Well, I wish that you'd fall for me, too. 

I really like you.

- Your Secret Admirer.

Chances of him reading this: 1 out of 1329075309257325732897598573987532. 

lol, Epik Phail.  

I go online simply to talk to you.

Sadly, I hardly ever see you online.

I really really miss talking to you. 

It's been what, 3 days now?

I really miss you & really like you, _____.

One of these days, I'll tell you. 

In my dreams. 

lol, Epik Phail.

Hm...

It's been so long since I talked to him. 

I keep hoping he'll show up,

& every time his name is mentioned,

I feel a little bit happier. 

Sigh.

I really like him & I really miss him. =/

Maybe he'll randomly be there at the library tomorrow?

Yeah right.

lol, Epik Phail.

I love you.

Dude, that's so cute! 

Maaaaaaaan. 

I really like you, _____. 

More than you'll ever know.

Wanna get out of my mind anytime soon? 

lol, Epik Phail.

Cute Notes.

My feelings exactly.

Prepare to get notes in your locker, _____. 

I really like you. 

But I can't say it to your face.

lol, Epik Phail.

I Just Want You.

Well, Kristy finally signed on & reassured me that everythings' gonna be fine. [:

So now, I think this project will work out! :D

Plus, I re-re-re-edited the script, & now it fits my liking.

Let's hope this goes well, alright Blogger? (=

Haha. 

I asked you what you wanted for Christmas. I secretly prayed your answer would be: "you." It wasn't... You won't tell me what you want.

Sigh. 

There's something I gotta say to you,

But I'm so afraid of what you'll do.

_____ _____, I just want you. <3

And sadly, you'll probably never know. 

lol, Epik Phail.

Rant.

RANT RANT RANT:

GAH. I hate group projects.

Especially over winter break.

People's schedules are all screwed up ...

You can't contact people everyday ...

Fudge.

I'm so scared that this project won't work out.

I'm so scared that people won't come, and nothing will work.

Rawr.

I feel like a horrible group leader.

Where's Ivy when you need her leadership skills?

Sigh.

I hope this project goes alright.

- End Rant - 

On the other hand,

Science bowl practice today was loads of fun. (=

Joseph kept insisting on buying me food though.

Felt really bad. =/ 

Haha.

I kept thinking to myself:

Hey, maybe I'll bump into him here. (=

But of course, I didn't.

And I haven't seen him on AIM either.

I really miss him. =/

lol, Epik Phail. 

PostSecrets.

Yeah.

That just about sums it up. 

I really like you [love, Idk, but I really like you].

If only I could tell you.

lol, Epik Phail.

Why am I here?

This thought constantly pops in my head.

I feel obliged to know my purpose in life.

Because I feel that if I don't, I'll never achieve it.

I wish I could figure out why I was put here on Earth.

I wonder if I'll ever find out.

lol, Epik Phail. 

The reason is you.

I've found a reason for me,

To change who I used to be,

A reason to start over new,

And the reason is you.

You make me smile.

When you hugged me goodbye, I knew it was you that I wanted.

I need you, to change me for the better.

You're my reason to start over, to change who I was before. 

I really like you.

Now, the hard part: Telling you.

Don't think I can pull it off.

lol, Epik Phail. 

Science Bowl practice.

Science bowl practice today @ Tully library!

Aha, it took a while for people to show up. 

Officially started at 2-ish?

Omg, I actually knew the math questions! + some bio questions! =D

- proud of self - 

Maaaan.

Danny, James, & I were beating Joseph, Kevin, & Alex, and then Joseph got serious and killed us. D:

On the bright side,

I got a pretty box & a website w/ the step-by-step answers to math problems! [Thanks James!]

HAHA, Alex still hates me, just 'cause he's Taiwanese and I'm Chinese. 

OH! & I randomly bumped into Steven @ the library. LOL.

Yeeeep. Pretty fun day. 

If only he was on AIM right now. 

Wish I could talk to him. 

I miss him.

Bet he doesn't miss me.

lol, Epik Phail. 

Insecurities.

Y'know, blogger.

Y'know what I want out of life?

I wanna meet a person that can get rid of all my insecurities,

Or at least a person that can help me get through them.

Whenever I think about it, though,

I know who I want that person to be.

And that's the problem.

I don't think I can have him.

I wish he would give me random hugs and tell me how great I am.

I wish he would hold me and calm me down until I stop crying.

I wish I could have him.

And sometimes, I need someone to say

"You'll be alright, what's on your mind?"

I need someone to do that, to get me through my numerous insecurities,

And assure me that everything is gonna be alright.

I really like him and I really need him.

And guess what? 

I don't think he wants me.

lol, Epik Phail.

The slightest actions make the biggest impacts.

It sounds so stupid,

But one day,

I just want someone to hug me when I'm crying.

Hug me, tell me it's okay, and tell me that they love me.

Tell me that I mean something to them.

One day,

I just want a little note telling me something good about me.

Asking for it isn't gonna do any good.

That's what I think I'm gonna do now.

Stick index card notes in people's lockers, telling them how great they are.

Stick a little note inside their binder, telling them how awesome they are.

That's what I wanna do in life.

I wanna make people happy.

And I hope so very much,

That they'd do the same.

One day,

I want someone to out of nowhere hug me and tell me how great I am.

Maybe then, I'll get rid of my insecurities. 

Haha, I'm such a loser.

A loser that wants to know that she's loved.

Will this ever happen? 

Probably not.

lol, Epik Phail.

Coinky-dink.

LOL.

I should be doing math homework right now.

Instead, I'm looking up old postsecrets on google images. 

What a strange coinky-dink. 

lol, Epik Phail. 

I wished for you.

Wow.

I act like an idiot when I'm talking to him.

Sigh.

I guess I'll never have him.

I guess he'll never like me.

But I can always hope, right?

Maybe, if I keep wishing, it'll come true. 

But then, I told you my wish.

I'll never have you, I guess.

Oh well, I bet you like her. 

lol, Epik Phail. 

I wish I could tell him.

He IMed me. 

cus (6:20:50 PM): hi

ero (6:20:57 PM): hey

cus (6:21:15 PM): im bored and i miss you

And he told me his birthday! 

Maybe I do stand a chance. 

I'll tell him on his birthday. 

It'll be a gift, along w/ his other present.

Watch me freak out and not be able to do it.

He was invisible on AIM & IMed me,

And after a little while, he stopped responding.

Was it something I said? Did he have to go right away?

I wish I knew.

Cliffhangers, ew.

lol, Epik Phail. 

I think I kinda like you.

So, I was watching a music video for "Where'd You Go" & it's freakin' amazing. The video is filmed so well, & the song is just awesome. <3

Still, it's ironic how the guy's name is _____. 

Dear _____,

Where'd you go? 

I miss you so. 

Seems like it's been forever since you've been gone. 

I wished for you yesterday. 

Oh wow. I just told you my wish. Now it's not gonna come true. 

& you just signed on and I was too chicken to IM you. & then you signed off.

One day, I'll gather up the courage to tell you. One day.

I really like you. 

If only you knew. If only I could tell you.

_____,

There's only 1 thing, 2 do, 3 words, 4 you:

I love you.

But, I'll never have you. 

Oh well. Life goes on, right?

lol, Epik Phail.

Epik Phail.

Welcome, one and all.

You're currently reading about the life of a fifteen-year-old student with little to no self-confidence.

Prepare to bore yourselves to death, 'cause honestly,

I talk about myself a lot. 

Good luck surviving! 

lol, Epik Phail.