I'm sorry.

Hm. It's so weird, but every now and then, I find myself thinking about it. I really regret doing what I did. I know it was wrong, but I didn't know what I was doing. Yeah, that's not an excuse whatsoever. I'm sorry, but it's not like you care. It's been months. I feel like apologizing or trying to talk to you again, but I'm scared of what you'll do. I know it was wrong, and although you'll never read this, I'm sorry. I remember all the good times we had. I actually sort of enjoyed that class because you were there. Ugh. Just leave it to me to screw up every friendship I make. I gotta stop letting my feelings get in the way of my friendships, especially my good ones. I remember when Steven tried to get me to talk to you, to say Happy New Year to you. I know you've moved on and I know that you don't want me in your life. It's been bugging me randomly for so long. I know I shouldn't have. I know I should've at least tried to talk to you about it, tell you how I felt. Shoot. I feel so guilty. I know I shouldn't have done what I did. I feel like trying to talk to you about it, but I know you don't care. I know you don't wanna talk to me. I pushed you out of my life without thinking, and I'm sorry. Ha. And I can't even tell you. Instead, I'm writing it all out on my blogger. I truly do regret doing what I did. I truly am sorry. Why bother apologizing, though? You'll just push me away. I should just give up and get over it, but the guilt is killing me. Whatever. I give up. I gotta forget about it and move on. But I know, deep down at the bottom of my heart, I wish we were still good friends. It doesn't matter anymore. It was my fault that I pushed you away to begin with. I'm sorry, but I know I'm not going to do anything because I'm such a coward. Ugh. Maybe, one day, I'll be able to say sorry to you. And maybe, one day, you'll forgive me even though what I did was so wrong. And that one day will never come. I'm sorry. I really am.